Heavy thoughts

So, yesterday I am officially down 22.2 pounds. I am pretty excited to finally break the 20 pound mark. I've been hovering there for three weeks and I've been getting annoyed.

My roommate decided to start an exercise and diet plan that emulated my own. I helped her with planning her meals and engaging in exercise. She finally weighed in yesterday with me and she had lost 5.4 pounds. I was very proud of her and secretly jealous that I have never been so lucky. Sometimes I forget how hard this will be with my medical problems. We did the same exercise, ate the same things, and her weight is plummeting.

She is a bit bigger than me (we were only 20 pounds apart when I started losing weight) and I've been worried about her, so we discussed a plan of action. Part of our discussion talked about the costs of being overweight. I've decided to list a few things that we talked about. First, let me say that your health is the biggest reason... and it's also the main point everyone discusses. These are the "costs" or "problems" with being overweight that I convinced her to consider:

1) Being overweight means you have to check weight limits on things. Sometimes you are afraid to have a seat because you don't think it will hold you. But that's not the only thing. I went on a boat this weekend and was afraid I would tip it over because of how much it moved when I walked across it! Being heavy is all about concern of these situations. Not the fear of being wrong and getting hurt; heavy people are afraid of the embarrassment that would come from breaking a chair or bench, or tipping a boat.

2) Self-esteem is a huge issue for overweight people. Feelings of inadequacy are not uncommon. If you are concerned about what people think based only on your weight, then you'll miss the bigger issue at hand. You may deny yourself affection or be distrustful. I used to be afraid to eat in public. You would think this helped me, but it exacerbated my eating at home.

3) A big question for overweight people is "will I fit?" This could apply to anything- not just clothes. You have to fit into tiny airplane seats or venue chairs. There are size restrictions on roller-coasters. People will have to consider your girth when calculating car rides (will she fit back there with the kids or should we not invite her because of space?). Then there's "one size fits all" outfits (think Halloween costumes or blood pressure cuffs) that don't really "fit all". Of course there are small spaces that a big person may want to fit into (maybe at the playground with the kids, or playing hide and seek) and can't.

4) You are the new elephant in the room. For a very, very long time in America, race or culture could make a person feel outside of the norm, especially when ignorant Americans refused to accept others. However, the new noticeable feature of a person is size, and it can be just as detrimental. For one, studies prove that overweight individuals face job discrimination. The same article highlights that the bias extends to sexual partners. Weight can be a very big dis-qualifier, because the general opinion is that fat people are lazy and lack self-control.

5) Obesity raises healthcare costs for everybody. The biggest person, of course, is the individual. Insurance companies can charge more to cover an obese person than a person of normal weight because of the higher risk of illness. So, not only do you already shell out more money for more health problems, but they can charge you more per visit.

6) Obesity can cause infertility. Any woman who wants to reproduce and is obese could potentially get some bad news from the doctor. It is the worst news ever- that the baby you want more than anything cannot be made as a result of YOUR decisions or, sometimes, medical maladies that led to your condition. It's a hard pill to swallow- trust me, I know.

There are countless other "costs" that we discussed, but I'm glad we had the conversation. It helped her understand why it was so important to try to start losing weight now.

Exactly 75 Days In...

I have been dieting and exercising for 75 days now. I feel like I can finally talk about what I'm doing, and how I'm doing it. It hasn't been easy, but I have lost 20 pounds doing what I'm doing. This is exceptional considering my conditions:

I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. This disorder affects an estimated 1 out of 10 women. I was diagnosed in 2010, but I really had no idea what the big deal was. Well, I know now that PCOS causes infertility, insulin-resistance, male pattern hair growth, dysfunctional periods, and weight gain. I have devoted my free time to educating young women about the signs and symptoms of PCOS. They don't know where it comes from, but I do have a family member with PCOS, and my doctor thinks it's related. So, I suffer from that on a daily basis. Here is more information about PCOS.

I have hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed with this when I was 12 years old. I had gained over 40 pounds that year! Again, as a child, I didn't understand the severity of the situation. I didn't take the daily, necessary medicine until about a year ago when my doctor impressed upon me the life-long implications of the disease. This is also not curable, and I will be on medication for the rest of my life. Hypothyroidism causes increased miscarriages, weight gain, lethargy, lack of concentration, anxiety, vitamin deficiencies, and a whole host of symptoms (comprehensive list here).

November 2011

Anyhow, over the years I had continued to gain weight, and in February, 2012, I weighed in at 260 pounds!

Somehow, I could still live with my decisions to be fat, even at the cost of embarrassment to my husband. Then in March, the doctor gave me some terrifying news: I was too heavy to ovulate due to my PCOS, and could not expect to get pregnant any time soon. She told me that if I could lose 50 pounds by next March (giving me 1 year), then she would prescribe fertility medications to me to get me pregnant if I wasn't ovulating on my own.

Finally the severity caught up to me. I had let my own body down. Despite my conditions, my body felt pretty normal (the lethargy was the most noticeable symptom), and I always thought it could do what it needed to do. This was the first time that I realized that I caused my body real harm.

So I researched everything. I learned what "insulin-resistant" (caused by my PCOS) really did to my body. I found out what foods interacted with my medications. The doctor put me on Metformin, a medication usually used for diabetics, to help regulate my insulin resistance. At the same time, she warned me that the medication was not a magic weight loss pill, and I had to work at it.

One of my favorite websites is called Pinterest. I made a "motivation" board and posted images to remind myself of my goals. Sometimes I would look through my posts when I felt overwhelmed.

   

These kinds of things were helpful, but I did so many more things to help me along. This blog is dedicated to my journey. It's not over, but I've been working really hard, and people are starting to ask the questions that everyone wants to know; how did you do it?

Most of my friends and family are aware of my struggles with PCOS and hypothyroidism, and combating these life-long illnesses makes my story even more amazing. Just last Tuesday I weighed in at 20 pounds lost. Tell me, can you see the difference?